help@cleanrecoverycenters.com

Get Clean – Call us today!

5 Things That Triggered Me To Drink and Use and How I Overcame Them

5 Things That Triggered Me To Drink and Use and How I Overcame Them

I went to rehab for the first time in late December, 2010. It’s crazy that only 3 years before that I was graduating with my MBA and working for one of the top entertainment companies in the world. Addiction didn’t take me out slowly – it took me quickly and it had its claws in me deep.

The world before addiction seemed infinite and limitless. All things were possible. I was a dreamer and a do-er. I saw the world through a glass that was always half full. But when I started drinking to excess and using prescription pills to get high – I became someone I no longer recognized. Everything was a trigger. Everything made me want to drink and get high.

by Lara Frazier
In my first rehab, and in every rehab after that – I was always required to make a trigger list – a trigger is something that would make me want to use or drink, or check out, or numb, or escape or snort a line of cocaine to completely forget the world. This trigger list was supposed to be part of my relapse prevention work. If I could identify what makes me want to get high than perhaps, I could be prepared for when it occurred. But, what if everything made me want to get high?

Apparently, this was a normal question and the rest of my group all shook their heads in agreement. I drank to success and I drank to misery. I used drugs to party and enjoy life and I used drugs to avoid people and withdraw. As I slowly creeped into recovery, it was easier to identify my triggers. And all the times I relapsed, showed me exactly what triggered me.

Here is a list of 5 of my most common triggers and how I worked through them:

TRIGGER 1:  BOREDOM

There is always something underneath boredom that is a trigger. To me, I realized it was my inability to sit with myself. I didn’t want to not be doing or participating or moving, because when I was alone with myself – with nothing to do, the only thought on my mind was using. I was in fear of actually feeling. In recovery, I learned how to identify my feelings and put a name to them. When I understood what type of feeling I was experiencing, I created tools to help deal with them. Meditation, prayer, exercise, therapy, writing, and reading were all tools to help be me able to sit with myself and stay with myself.

TRIGGER 2:  MONEY
I couldn’t stand to talk about money. Money talk led me to feelings of shame and guilt and disbelief. Money was something I no longer had and it made me feel inferior. When my parents talked about paying them back, or working more, or taking responsibility for my life – I would cringe. I wanted someone to take care of me. My addiction led me to feelings of entitlement. I was working so hard for my recovery; couldn’t people just help me out? Underneath money talk – was the belief that I would never be as successful as I once was. When I learned to re-define success and take responsibility for my life, money no longer triggered me.
TRIGGER 3:  LONELINESS
Loneliness was the worst feeling in the world. I hated to feel lonely. When I was drinking and using, I withdrew from the world, but at least I had my drugs. Now that I was sober, I didn’t have my drugs. I felt like an outcast. I felt like I was unlovable. How could anyone want to be friends with me? I was a terrible person and I did horrible things! Loneliness hurt because I would have to take an honest look at the person I had become. And I didn’t like that person. However, this self-awareness allowed me to change. If I didn’t like who I had become – then I had the power to change my life. Loneliness was the absolute worst misery in the world, but it was also the greatest teacher.
TRIGGER 4:  ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
If you have ever been rejected or broken up with by someone you love, then you know it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. I didn’t know how to deal with romantic relationships. I couldn’t even take care of myself. When an ex-boyfriend would reappear in my life, I would experience feelings of wanting to use. I didn’t want to deal with these types of feelings. If a new man would reject me, it would feel as if my life had ended. Realizing that romantic relationships were a trigger for me allowed me to stay out of relationships for my first year of recovery. It was one of the best things I could ever do, because it gave me the space and time to know myself again.
TRIGGER 5:  RESENTMENT
I came into recovery angry AF. Of course, there was something underneath this anger – and I believe it was feelings of worthlessness and inferiority. Why did I have to become someone who was addicted? Why did it happen to me? I blamed everyone else for my addiction. I didn’t know how to take responsibility for my life. People pissed me off. The smallest things made me angry. I was always on edge and ready to explode. As I learned more about recovery and started taking action to change my life, I started to soften. My walls fell down. I smiled more. I laughed. I appreciated people. When I was angry with someone – I would look at my part in the situation. I learned that resentment was a huge trigger for me and it would take me out quicker than anything else. In order to deal with this trigger, I had to learn the tools to be able to handle resentment. Apologizes, owning my part, forgiving and forgetting.

ABOUT LARA

Lara Frazier is a truth-teller, a sobriety warrior and a writer. She is a FIERCE believer in the power of owning our stories and is a strong advocate for alcohol addiction recovery. Lara shares a story of healing: in sobriety, through addiction, in life and love, and in all the other big huge moments of fear and magic that we rarely talk about, but we should. Find more of Lara’s work on Instagram @sillylara.

Recent Posts

Xanax Withdrawal Anxiety

Why Is My Anxiety Worse After Stopping Xanax? Understanding Rebound Panic and Paws At Clean Recovery Centers, recovery starts with compassionate, evidence-based care tailored to your needs. This guide covers common Xanax withdrawal symptoms, timeline, why medical...

What is the Safest Way to Detox from Fentanyl and Opiates?

Key Takeaways:  Fentanyl withdrawal can begin within hours of the last dose and escalate quickly  The period immediately after stopping fentanyl carries the highest overdose risk Medical detox provides 24/7 clinical monitoring, medication-assisted withdrawal...

Addiction Is a Community Issue

Addiction is a Community Issue Why Recovery Requires All of UsWhen people think about addiction, they often picture it as a personal struggle—one individual battling substance use while family members watch from the sidelines. While addiction certainly affects the...

Recognizing the Signs of Prescription Drug Abuse

Prescription medications play a vital role in modern healthcare. They help manage pain, treat anxiety and depression, improve focus, control chronic illnesses, and support recovery from countless medical conditions. When used as directed by a healthcare provider,...

Signs Of Adderall Addiction

At Clean Recovery Centers, we're committed to supporting you with proven therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and life-skill management to treat clients with Adderall addiction. Our substance use disorder (SUD) programs embrace a caring, holistic...
Dr. Vijapura

Content reviewed by medical director
Dr. Vijapura

Reach Out to Us and Get Started Today.

Related Posts

Alcohol Induced Neuropathy

You wake up after another night of drinking, feeling sick. Drinking more will probably help, you think – it usually does, at least for some symptoms. Yet even when you drink to feel better, your legs still sting. Sometimes they tingle and feel numb. Does this sound...

Cocaine and Alcohol

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” -Nancy Christy You probably know that cocaine can change the way the brain functions. But did you know mixing cocaine and alcohol leads to the creation of a...

Is Alcoholism Hereditary

Your husband has always been a drinker. His father and grandfather always found themselves drinking no matter the occasion. You have seen the mental and physical toll alcohol has taken on all of these family members, and you can’t help but look at your 13-year-old son...